Non Verbal Communication

     In my marriage class we are talking about the importance of non verbal communication in relationships. There can be many miscommunications due to the interpretations of cues that are not portrayed correctly. A few examples are tone of voice, sarcasm, body language and facial expressions. These things are sometimes are hard to control when emotions are running high. This is what makes getting to know someone else's family difficult. You're trying to decode all the underlying social cues and what is deemed acceptable in conversation. With how our generation is progressing technologically we communicate more often in non face to face ways. The biggest was is through texting and over social media. There is now an entire texting etiquette. With emoticons trying to mimic interpersonal relationships.

Fidelity

     With the widespread use of technology our modern world has become desensitized and normalized to different types of infidelity. There is no longer just a physical or sexual affair. There are multiple ways to be unfaithful in a relationship and marriage. Fantasy is the one I want to focus on today. The idea of fantasy infidelity can be extremely damaging. There is a significant double standard in the idea of fantasy. It is socially acceptable for woman to obsess over fictional characters such as twilight and Christian Gray of 50 Shades of Grey. Women spend time reading, talking and thinking about these men without second thought. When women get together it is perfectly okay to watch chick flicks and get all riled up when Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off. 

     If we as women were to walk into a room full of our brothers, fathers and uncles watching and having similar conversations about women, we would be appalled. But more importantly, hurt. We need to recognize these behaviors in ourselves. Our mental fantasies can withdraw us from our husbands and marriage by being preoccupied with men that our husbands can never compare to. 

Sexual Intimacy

     This week in class we've been talking about sexual health and nature, as well as the differences between men and women. We as young adults need to be educated on topics such as these to be able to be realistic as we prepare for marriage. Expectations need to be realistic about sex and intimacy within the boundaries in marriage.
     The key to understanding your partner and being able to be sexually compatible is first and foremost, communication. We as Latter Day Saints don't engage in sexual activity until after we're married, so how do we know if we will have a sexually satisfying marriage? I think it's important to understand that a married couple has the rest of their lives to figure it out. Sure it will take effort, a few awkward conversations and maybe even tears. However if we preserve our bodies until after marriage it is then we are able to fully explore and understand our partners.
 

Relationships

We've been talking a lot about dating this week and how relationships begin. The first factor we all jump to is physical attraction, and yes this is extremely important and more often than not the initial reason two people begin a relationship. But we must not overlook propinquity. Having access to the person you are interested in is a key component in getting to know someone. There is only so far an online relationship can and will go. You must spend time with this person. Other than just this, if you are in close proximity as someone you are more likely to have similarities. For example if you meet at a country dance club, odds are you both like country music. Or if you meet at a ski resort, or at a cooking class, we have common ground.
People say that times have changed and that one in five relationships today begin online and that this is a great way to begin a romantic relationship. I would have to disagree. There is a book called "How to avoid falling in love with a Jerk" by Van Epp. He says that Time is one of the three components that are crucial to getting to know someone. You have to spend adequate time together. He explains that three months is the minimum to get to know important things about one other. The other is Togetherness. That you need a wide range of activities to be able to see your partner in a number of circumstances and how they conduct themselves.