Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Modern Day Dating

We've been talking a lot about dating this week and how relationships begin. The first factor we all jump to is physical attraction, and yes this is extremely important and more often than not the initial reason two people begin a relationship. But we must not overlook propinquity. Having access to the person you are interested in is a key component in getting to know someone. There is only so far an online relationship can and will go. You must spend time with this person. Other than just this, if you are in close proximity as someone you are more likely to have similarities. For example if you meet at a country dance club, odds are you both like country music. Or if you meet at a ski resort, or at a cooking class, we have common ground.
People say that times have changed and that one in five relationships today begin online and that this is a great way to begin a romantic relationship. I would have to disagree. There is a book called "How to avoid falling in love with a Jerk" by Van Epp. He says that Time is one of the three components that are crucial to getting to know someone. You have to spend adequate time together. He explains that three months is the minimum to get to know important things about one other. The other is Togetherness. That you need a wide range of activities to be able to see your partner in a number of circumstances and how they conduct themselves. The third is Talk. Both your partner and yourself must be willing to indulge in the same amount of information at the same rate. One partner that remains closed up while the other offers personal information it can cause an imbalance and leave the relationship feeling one sided.

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